The Peter In Me

In the year 2020, I was using this holy week devotional and one of the readings was about Peter denying Jesus. After reading the entire passage of his denial about Jesus, I cried a lot of tears. I pitied Peter and feel for him. I believe it was not his intention to deny Jesus. He didn’t plan to deny Him. The word fear crossed my mind. Maybe Peter was scared. He was scared because the man He was with who is capable of doing miracles was captured by the soldiers. Peter knew the capabilities of Jesus because he witnessed it when Jesus gave them plenty of fish that their boat began to sink. Maybe Peter was scared because their leader was in the hands of the Roman soldiers. And because I think he was scared for his life too. . He knew and witnessed the miracles of Jesus and he saw it as well when the soldiers took Him.

^{Luke 22:54-62 (ESV)}

Peter Denies Jesus

⁵⁴ Then they seized him and led him away, bringing him into the high priest’s house, and Peter was following at a distance. ⁵⁵ And when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat down among them. ⁵⁶ Then a servant girl, seeing him as he sat in the light and looking closely at him, said, “This man also was with him.” ⁵⁷ But he denied it, saying, “Woman, I do not know him.” ⁵⁸ And a little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.” But Peter said, “Man, I am not.” ⁵⁹ And after an interval of about an hour still another insisted, saying, “Certainly this man also was with him, for he too is a Galilean.” ⁶⁰ But Peter said, “Man, I do not know what you are talking about.” And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. ⁶¹ And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.” ⁶² And he went out and wept bitterly.

All I can sense while reading the passage was fear. And we all feel that. And most of the time when we are fearful we tend to do unwise actions. Been there and done that. Fear cripples us, it cripples our heart and mind that we cannot even begin to think well. Have you ever felt that? When we feel fear it also signals our brain and it will manifest in our actions and words. I used to belittle Peter for denying Jesus but now I realized that I have also a Peter in me ( a lot of times) Yes he is a disciple of Jesus, one of the famous twelve friends of Jesus but he is still human. Just like any of us. After denying Jesus he wept bitterly and I get him. He too was deeply hurt by his actions, feeling lost and without direction now that Jesus is taken captive. He must feel bad for denying Jesus, his master. After realizing the mistake, he wept and feel sorry for what he’s done to the point that he goes back to fishing. Aren’t we like that at some point in our life?. When we feel sorry and hopeless that we also want to go back to our old life. Not really backslide but to take things passively. Or we want to stop doing what we are doing. That is why God keeps on reminding us not to fear. Telling us not to fear. Commanding us not to fear.

Fear will always find its opportunity to enter our hearts and mind. The enemy is so good at creating fear. I pray that God will protect the good deposit in our heart and by His grace we will face fear with courage knowing the battle is the Lord’s and we are on the winning side.

We Talk About Peter

I think Peter is one of the most famous bible characters. Everyone knows him. But every time we talk about Peter or his name is being mentioned, we usually think about Peter who denies Jesus. Am I right? . We usually remember the negative side of a person and forget that everyone of us has it. We are quick to spot the wrong side, that we forget that we are all humans, capable of making mistakes. It is not a surprise why we have ungodly character, for we live in a fallen world and we are all sinners.

Before we look at Peter as the one who denies Jesus, he was a man who knew his standing before Christ. In Luke 5:8 When Simon Peter realized what had happened, he fell to his knees before Jesus and said, “Oh, Lord, please leave me—I’m such a sinful man.” I can see a man of humility. This was when they had plenty of fish in their nets.

Before we look at Peter as the one who denies Jesus, he works closely with Jesus. Matthew 16:13-17 When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?” They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter,  and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades  will not overcome it.  He had a relationship with Jesus.

Yes, he did deny Jesus and went back to fishing, but Jesus didn’t take it against him. His plan for Peter didn’t change, nor did His love. At some point, we also denied Jesus and we also went back to fishing.

I am sure that Peter has done great things with Jesus and other disciples, but we are so quick to brush it off and remember him as the one who denies Jesus. The story of Peter taught me that while it is true that all of us have ungodly character, I can choose to focus on the good side of the person. To always see the good in every people. And everything is all by the grace of God. And lastly, not to give up on people, for Jesus didn’t give up on me.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Mommy Break

Most moms do feel guilt in taking a mommy break and I am one of them . I am a strong believer that moms do need a break too, but at the same time I feel guilty about it, sometimes. When I think about just having a solo time and spending money just for myself, it makes me think it is okay not to have a break at all.

But having a mommy break is really helpful, emotionally and mentally. To withdraw for a while and realign some things as a wife, a mother and a woman. Mommy break allows you to rekindle some passions you thought are forgotten already. Mommy break is a short pause to what you are doing, it is not retiring from being a mom. We all need a break, even if you are not a mom. Kids, dads and workers and even pets do need a break. Machines do need break as well, they need reboots. You can have coffee together with other moms, or having coffee alone. Or anything that makes you feel alive and joyful. As a mom, mommy break is a form of rest for me and we should not feel guilty about it because even Jesus rested.

In Mark 6:31 it says “And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat” . So, did Jesus ever get tired? Yes, He did. Sometimes He needed to rest from preaching to the crowds, and in at least one instance of healing, the Bible tells us it cost Him strength.

Even Jesus took a rest. Taking a rest could also mean trusting God with your kids and trusting your husband to look after them. Our husbands may not look after our kids the way we do, but for sure they are giving their best as well. God is the author of rest, God designed rest. How could we not accept the offer of rest. Taking a break is not a sign of weakness, but it is acknowledging our limitations and trusting God to fill us up.

We all get tired and it is okay to have a break 🙂

Falling In Love With Motherhood

Being a mom is a complete mixture of emotions. A complete mixture of joy, excitement, fear and frustration and disappointments. Oh, did I just say frustration and disappointment? Yes, it is part of the journey. Sometimes we feel guilty for having negative emotions towards our kids and even towards ourselves. I think it is normal to feel guilty because these are our kids, how can it be that we are having negative emotions toward them? We feel negative emotions because no matter how we try to compose ourselves there are those bad days that reveals our sinful nature, doesn’t it. But then moms, we are also human beings, we are not robots. We cannot program our emotions and God blessed us with emotions for a purpose. The truth is, even if we have negative emotions towards them at times, it doesn’t mean that we stop loving them.

We never stop loving them. We never stop loving our kids, not even a single moment. We love our kids, but do moms love being a mom? So I asked some of my mom friends this question; what do you love about being a mom…

Being able to receive unlimited hugs and kisses – Mommy Mitos

Hmmm…I love seeing her learn and grow..When she randomly tells me “I love you, Mommy”, You’re the best Mom in the world” mo ana pud siya bsag inun.onan ra akong g.luto, “You’re the best cook” mawala gyud akong kakapoy.. bisag pag cut ra sa iyang nails, ky mo say “Thank you” siya.. ganahan pud ko sa feeling anang dili cya katulog ug wala ko.. bisag kapoy nako himo sa mga chores, pero lahi rapud jud ang joy nga mahatag sa anak.. naay sense of fulfillment although some days are hard gyud.. dili man ko perfect nga pagka Mama pero naa man ang grace ni Lord nga mo sustain nato – Mommy Micah

Being a mom made me realize that I have a lot of things to work on: being extra patient and responding to things in a graceful manner. You grow as a person when you become a mom. I love it when Darah appreciates the things I do for her. I love it when she hugs and kisses me to show how grateful she is because I am her mom. – Mommy Cheene

Ahhmmm ahhmmm…hehe.Hugs and kisses from kids, nga ug makakita nako after work kay mura jud kita bulawan. Hahahahaha – Mommy Joyce

Kanag kapoy na kaayo ka lihok sa balay pero makakita ka sa imo anak nga healthy, limpyo ug bibo mawala na ang kakapoy! Hehehe – Mommy Jolie

Their innocence. Maski usahay monster mom ka, they will forget about it and still say I love you and you’re the best Mom – Mommy Etchie

The one thing is everything. Hehe! I love everything about it…from the moment Kyler wakes up–unlidede, babath time, eating and playtime, nappy changes, etc.–until he closes his eyes at night. I find myself enjoying this mundane routine every time. There is so much joy in my heart that i got to take care of him 24/7. I don’t discredit the fact that it’s very kapoy, but there is something in the kakapoy that makes me look forward to another day with him…it’s very fulfilling and rewarding. It makes me appreciate more of my strength as a woman because of God’s grace…that i can do so much more with God on my side. You’ll never know your strengths gyud diay until you become a mom. I love it that it makes me appreciate my mama’s sacrifices to the fullest now that I am one, that it has taught me to be more selfless and patient, that it makes me strive to be a better wife to Anton kay as what Pastor Archie said, you fail as a mother if you fail as a wife. and I love the feeling that I’m this little one’s world pa. –Mommy Ling

For me kay my children has given me a sense of purpose to live and to be a better person each day. Kanang answer sa famous question ba nga “para kanino ka bumabangon? “ Then second thing I love when I became a mother kay I was able to appreciate my mother more when I became a mother myself. Those things that I thought was easy and don’t need any credits turned out to be valuable thing diay when you become a mother yourself.- Mommy Irene

Bonding time with Shiloh. To be able to bond with your child (own flesh and blood) is the most beautiful thing i love about being a mom. – Mommy Natadel

Ang kakapoy ug trials for being a single mom dili gyud lalim but mailisan ra ug full energy ug determination kung mo smile ug hug na si JM nko after work. Being a mom,dili gyud ka bayran ug salapi oi,YES kapoy siya usahay but once makadungog ka nila ug “I love you mommy” mura gyud ko gbayaw sa langit.- Mommy Myra

Go ahead, thank your mom for all the things she has done for you. A simple thank you will surely melt their heart. I am sure of it because I myself am a mother of two kids.

Thank you Jesus, for the strength and grace and wisdom that is available for each moms. Thank you because because before you put us in this season, we are first your daughter. May we channel it to our kids all the love that we received from You.

Proverbs 31:28 ESV Her children rise up and call her blessed;her husband also, and he praises her.

• 

  Photo by Jonathan Borba on Pexels.com

Samara Gabrielle

Samara Gabrielle is the name of my second child. Samara means protected by God and some site would say under God’s rule. Gabrielle on the other hand it means woman of God or God is my strength.

On the ninth month I am expecting to give birth on the second week of December, even if my due is on the first week of January. When I had my check up my cervix is already open at two centimetres and painless. Days passed and there is still no progress. Visited the hospital for assessment yet there’s a little progress. I spotted, but still there is no active labor. I became impatient and anxious and worried that anytime my bag of water might break. I feel those negative emotions because I had this expectation that this time it will be faster since it is my second baby. December 12, 2019, cervix has been at two centimetres and I gave birth December 27, 2019 in the evening.

And God reminded me with this verse…

• 

We know this already, right? But how many of you still battles within to trust the word of God, especially when your current season is uncomfortable. In the last month of my pregnancy I became impatient, I wanted to give birth the soonest possible time but it didn’t happened that way. I realized that if I was able to wait for nine months just to give birth, then waiting for days will be easier. God reminded me to be patient, He reminded me that I will give birth, but it is not I who hold the time. I realized that my effort in doing squats and walking will not move the timetable of God. For it is not about me, God is the giver of life. He has always the right as to when will I give birth. I was always thinking of having induced, but on the other hand, I also don’t want to get ahead of God. December 27, 2019, we agreed with my husband and OB to have it induced early the next day but our hearts were still half hearted. God showered me His grace, especially in the area of waiting. God was able to give life in my womb and He will be the one to bring it to completion.

On that night that I gave birth, I see God’s orchestration. I am the only one who’s giving birth on that night. So I was given an overflow amount of attention and care. I gave birth on the last day of my 38th week going on my 39th, as the doctor said that the timing is just right. Since important organs are the last thing to develop in a baby’s body. Everything falls into place 🙂

God’s heart is always what is best for us and He is serious about it. His ways are always beautiful.

Tweet

Raising Humans

My first-born is turning four by the end of this year and raising him is getting more challenging. I admit there are times that I became complacent in reprimanding him. Too tired to give a rod, too tired to call his attention an explain things to him. It is just tiring emotionally and physically. On the other hand, I am always reminded by this truth. That our kids, they are a blessing and heritage from the Lord and we ought to be good stewards as parents.

Last night, while we are having our bible reading this verse caught my attention.

Proverbs 18:19 (Good News Translation) Discipline your children while they are young enough to learn. If you don’t, you are helping them destroy themselves.

Proverbs 18:19 (New Living Translation) Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives.

I was reminded by this truth that if I stop disciplining and reprimanding my son is good as I am allowing him to destroy his life. And no parent would want that to happen. The verse above it says ” you are helping them destroy themselves by not disciplining them”. The other one it says ” you will ruin their lives” And that’s a sad thing for a parent to realize. Raising human with godly values is not really as easy as ABC but one thing is for sure, we are the kind of parent that our son or daughter needs. God will give us the wisdom how to best approach our kids, how to best deal with them without crushing their spirit. God will provide mom friends and mom mentors where we can freely share how we feel about your parenting. If you don’t have a mom tribe yet, ask and pray to God about it.

We will continue to discipline our kids because we are accountable to God by how we take care of the blessing He has given us. The goal is not to raise perfect kids and be super parents. Discipline is always a form of love. We will discipline out of love and not out of anger. That we may mirror God’s love and grace as well. C’mon mommies, by God’s grace we can do this mommahood together.

🙂

(Photo not mine 😀 )

• 

Thoughts on Cloth Diaper…

When I had my first-born, a good mom friend of mine gave me some diaper cloth. I was hesitant to use it because I know that I need to wash it everyday. So I opted the disposable diaper and it is really convenient on my part. I just need to refill our diaper stock which is somehow costly (depending on the brand that you are using). I was able to use the diaper cloth with my first-born when he turned one year old but I am not consistent in using it.

When I had my second child, now three months old, another good mom friend of mine gave me set of diaper cloth. She also shared to me her experienced in using it and the benefit of it. I am not that convinced still, but I want to give it a try. I want to give it a try since I also want to give something good to our nature. To lessen waste disposal.

I started using diaper cloth for my second child. I use diaper cloth during daytime only. Maximum of three cloth diapers. I still use disposable diaper during night time. Cloth diapers are easy to wash, it will not take too much of your time. Except if there is a poop, of course. It is nature friendly, which we all ready know about that. Also we don’t need to buy more disposable cloth and I feel safer for my second child. I am currently using Naughty Baby, Happy Flute and Alva cloth diaper.

I have nothing against for those moms who uses disposable diapers, tho. I believe we all want the best for our child. We may differ in how we do it but we have the same goal.

Here are some blogs about cloth diapers: https://momlovesbest.com/diapering/cloth-diapers/benefits-cloth-diapers

https://www.chla.org/blog/rn-remedies/cloth-diapers-truth-facts-and-benefits-infant-and-family

https://homeguides.sfgate.com/benefits-cloth-diapers-78695.html

and more informative blogs…

By the way, I love cloth diaper now 🙂

• 

Blind Spotters

When I was a younger Christian, I am told by my mentor to have an accountability partner. And yes, I have an accountability partner, but I don’t really appreciate the person that much. It is just like for the sake of having a person in mind and a name to drop whenever my leaders will ask me if I have one. As I grow in my walk with God, I see the beauty of having an accountability partner. Not just the beauty but the countless benefits of having an accountability partner. And now I appreciate all of them, yes I said, all because I have more than one accountability partner.

When we look for an accountability partner, do not just go to a person that you are comfortable with. Look for a person you can trust and will keep your stories. Do not go to a person who will just gossip about you when you share something. A person who will speak the truth in love and will not sugarcoat or flatter or approve everything you do. The problem with some of us is we want approval, we always want to hear the answer; Yes, c’mon and that’s right. Some of us are irritated by the word No and stop it. If your accountability partner says No or stop it, it doesn’t mean that they don’t love you or what. In fact, they love you enough that they want to spare you from future hurts and pain. These are the people who doesn’t  need to ask permission to speak in your life. I’ve been hearing the answer no and stop it years ago. They rebuked me and raised tough questions like WHattttt …  At first I was hurt, because I thought that these people will support, but they are the ones stopping me in what I do. I began hating those people for hurting my emotion. But now, I really super duper million times appreciate them. Until now they are still with me, they are still lovingly watching my back and I so thank God for them.

If you have an accountability partner now make sure that you are completely honest to them. Yes I said them, because I believe we will be more protected if there are more than one whose watching our blind spots. Do not just share half truth, pour out what your really feel and how you see things.

If you are an accountability partner to someone I urged you to ask God’s wisdom before saying anything. Do not just say feel good words, but build up and spur the person to do what is right in the eyes of God.

When It Is Not Part Of The Plan

 

I always dream of working in a bank. It has always been my dream since I was a kid. I already picture things out for my future. But when you allow God to do a work in your life, you must expect intervention. I never dreamed nor prayed to become a wife of a pastor and go on full time capacity.  But, many are a plan in man’s heart, but God’s plan will prevail.

Of course, I miss working in the corporate world, where I am the boss. I call the shots and I made the decisions. Many times I thought of going back in the corporate world, but when you consider God, you know that it’s not that easy as you think. But there were instances that I really  applied for a job. And the answer is NO because many are a plan in man’s hearts but God’s plan will prevail. Getting a job is my plan, not God’s plan.  There was no leading for me to apply for a job. There was no memo from God that He permits me to work again.

Because I am fond of planning things I hate interventions. I really don’t like it. But that is one thing I learned to love and accept the moment I said YES to God’s invitation to salvation. I need to trust God’s intervention that it is always what’s best for me.  God is not obliged to explain to us why He intervenes, He will do whatever He wants in His own sovereign way. At the end of the day, I am more thankful to God that He intervene in my life.

Actually , I find it more beneficial and to my advantage every time God intervenes. At first, it was hurting, but I realized that I will be more in pain if God didn’t intervene.  Before I am afraid that God will intervene in my plans, but now I ask more of His interventions in my plans. We always think that we have the best plan for our life and our children.  But at the end of the day we all know that God heart is always what’s best for us, it is God’s plan that will prevail.

 

 

 

 

Would you still want to serve?

Many of us do volunteer works in the ministry for different reasons. Some do it to keep them busy, others do it to feel good and others do it for perks and bonuses.  Well, these reasons are not wrong, but I hope that these will not be the ultimate thing why we volunteer in the ministry.

Volunteer works in the ministry are more than just to keep us busy. Yes, it is really busy in the ministry since there are lots of things to do, but what if one day there are less things to do. What if one day it will not keep you busy anymore? Would you still want to serve? What if one day, a leader will ask you to do smallest thing and it doesn’t keep you busy at all, would you still want to serve?

Others do it to feel good about themselves. Well, yes, it really feels good to be of help but what if one day it doesn’t feel good anymore? What if one day, no matter how you serve, whole day, and you don’t feel good about it? Instead of feeling good you feel so tired and exhausted,  would you still want to serve?

Others do it for perks and bonuses and for freebies. Like for some events there are free  food or free tickets.  But what if one day all of these perks and freebies and bonuses are gone? Would you still want to serve?  What if a leader would ask your help and what the leader can give is just a tap on your back, a good job and thank you. Would you still want to serve?

God reminded me that we are doing the things we are doing now out of being grateful to Him.  More than just to keep us busy, to feel good and the perks and bonuses, the ultimate goal of our service is to become Christ like in character.  It is my prayer that as we continue to serve God in the ministry all the more we will see the servant heart of God .

Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:28